Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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