Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Randomize
