thus making me awesome and them whores
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
