we have officially lost it.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
