He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
