Already got asked if we're dating
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
