Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
