is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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