Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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