is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
