I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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