can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
