I seem to have left my pride at pride
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
