Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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