in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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