I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
