i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
