Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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