...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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