The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
