Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
