I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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