She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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