When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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