The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
