No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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