the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My dick has a subreddit
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
