hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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