I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
