I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize