I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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