i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Green mimosas i think yes
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
