hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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