yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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