it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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