Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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