I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize