You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
