don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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