Small penises have feelings too.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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