sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
