Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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