I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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