Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
