So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
