She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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