on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I intend to get homeless drunk
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
