she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
