All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize