Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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