from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
