I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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