I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
