i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
