Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Boobs speak an international language.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
